This Season of Life.

It has now been over 6 months that I've been a Washington resident. That...is crazy. But I fall more and more in love with this state and the awesome people in it every day. 

Some other crazy exciting news!? I will be a World Vision employee again as of this Monday!  I've been working there for a few weeks now, but as a temp. I will now be a Warehouse Specialist again, and yes, I have quickly re-acclimated to wearing jeans, a baggy shirt, ponytail and minimal makeup to work. Although sometimes I still go home and dress up for no reason just to feel girly ;) 

So starting next week I will again be officially official. Washington will be my third state in which I've worked for this awesome organization that does such amazing work!! (I love World Vision, can you tell?)

Some new coworkers! (Not my picture)

God is so faithful! Always, always. 

I also will soon be moving to an apartment with my friend Emily who is moving out here from Minnesota! I have been SOO unbelievably blessed to have been able to live with Karen since I was pretty "financially unstable" when I moved out here. Now she is headed to move and live the exciting downtown-Seattle life and I can afford to get an apartment! 

God is again faithful and His timing is perfect. 

Along with all the blessings, there are definitely some difficulties. The hardest part, especially lately, is being so far away from family and specifically my grandparents as they've recently had a series of strokes and a major heart attack. Although it kills me to not easily go and visit them when things like that happen, and even through all of the frustration, sadness and tears on my part...I am still affirmed in my heart that this is where I am supposed to be. No doubt in my mind. 

But that still doesn't make it any easier to be far away. 

This season of life continues to be full of changes, transitions, and never quite getting settled in anywhere for very long. But I'm ultimately enjoying the journey and have been blown away with how much God is teaching me through it. 

Patience. Truly being patient.

Trusting in His timing. Like, for real trusting. Not making up my own agenda for how things should go. 

Knowing when to leap. Not using "I'm being patient" as an excuse when I know I should actually be going out of my comfort zone in response to a call to action. (That is a hard, but important differentiation.)

And most of all, I'm learning that no matter where I live, or who I hang out with, or where I work, or how far away I am from my family....my Jesus remains right here in my life and never ceases to show up. And He is fully, 100% deserving of all praise and total control over my life. 

Because guess what? 

He is faithful. And His timing is perfect. 

An Unlikely Idol.

As I'm sure everyone with social media now knows, my parents were just out here visiting. And the entire time I was having a battle inside myself regarding smartphones and social media. 

The thought of spending any time at all glued to my phone during the few precious days with my out-of-state family is embarrassing. 

But here was my battle: I was constantly desperate to capture every fun and happy moment. By photo, video, vine, tweet, Facebook post, text...anything. It needed to be documented. 

I wanted to capture every moment in every way imaginable on this silly smartphone because I knew every moment was fleeting. Even now, it seems like their visit was here and gone before I could even exhale. 

They're gone. But my phone isn't. It holds the memories inside of it. I can look back at them and smile. Then I quickly feel sad at the realization that I was busy photo snapping when my parents were right here with me. But I was fully aware of this battle at the time. 

A constant battle between being fully present in the actual moment...and my desperation to save the moment in any way possible to look back on later. 

We've all heard it and said it and probably agreed with it: Social media and smartphones have changed our real life relationships. 

However, I would say that my relationship with my parents this past trip wasn't necessarily affected by my photo snapping. But it made me just a little more attached to my phone. 

It almost felt like a teeny tiny glimpse of slavery. It has become almost an idol. I don't want to be on it, but I feel like I NEED to be. I feel like if I don't capture a picture or video, then it never really happened. 

And how ridiculous. 

Smartphones, social media, and photos can be a huge blessing, but I think living within the tension of capturing the moments versus actually LIVING the moments is a difficult thing for some of us. 

Yep, guilty. 

But I'm not quite sure what to do with that...besides blog about it via my iPhone  and attach a few photos from Instagram and then share it on Facebook and Twitter. 

My New Friend.

I have a new friend at work. 

He's the janitor. And he's hilarious. 

His level of English is roughly equivalent to my level of very rusty Spanish. For the first few weeks this was obviously a HUGE barrier for our little talks at the end of our shifts.  Our conversations mostly consisted of taking turns giving each other the infamous 'deer in the headlight' look.

But one night I randomly answered his question in Spanish. 

His eyes got huge. 

He thought I was bluffing. And then I said (in Spanish) that I had lived in Guatemala for 4 months so knew some Spanish. 

Then he said something I couldn't understand. So then we laughed. And that's how we became friends. 

Ever since that night, I've had many more laughs, understood the most (ironically), and learned a bit about his wife and kids. I've decided to try only speak Spanish with him from now on. But this attempt has really just turned into a mess of Spanglish by both of us. 

And plenty more laughs.

I'm not one to say too much publically about my political views and how I tie them in with being a Christian, because it all still mostly confuses me and I'm still working through that. But here's my one statement: I don't think Jesus would be holding a sign up to my new friend saying, "You live in America! Speak English!" 

I think he would love him wherever he was at instead of reprimanding and ignoring him until he was fluent in his new language. 

Sure, I get people's view of this subject on the large-scale. But I'm not going to go there right now. That stuff hurts my brain, especially this late at night.

Yes, I know it will benefit him overall in America to speak fluent English. Yes, I want him to be successful. But right now,  on evenings when we are sitting at the gym before we kick everyone out and go our separate ways, my job is to somehow show him the love of Jesus. 

So I'm going to speak Spanish with my new friend at work. I've been convicted to put down my conversational advantage and fumble through my own somewhat limited skill to show him that I value him as a person, regardless of his English fluency (or lack thereof). Even if it's only for just 10 minutes. 

God puts people in our path every day that he calls us to love in even the smallest of ways, no matter how uncomfortable or awkward it may be. 

I need to do a better job of living out this concept with EVERYone I interact with each day. Whether small or big, easy or difficult, convenient or not, love is love. Show it any way you can think of. All the time. 

Because that's what Jesus did. 

Sunshine in Seattle.

Life in sunshine via pictures. Ready, Go! 

It's been super nice out lately. My boyfriend has a motorcycle, so obviously I "make him" (ask very nicely to) give me rides on it. My head was hurting this day because I was wearing bobby pins. Under a helmet. Because I'm smart. 

Also, We think we are sooo cool. Because we are. 

One day at work I wore my new white shoes. Then they made me water the plants which, well...live in dirt. So I became a genius. 

I ran my 3rd half marathon on Saturday. Wasn't super happy with my time or pace, but it was sunny and 75 out so I didn't really care. 

And they still give you medals if you finish, whether you beat your own PR or not so...that's always awesome.

Ps. These pictures were taken exactly a year apart. Who knew some clean eating would even make a little difference on my cheeks!? Okay, sorry, but I got excited.

That's the weather I'm bragging about. Because I totally control the weather. 

Boyfriend and I have been dating for over 365 days now. I'm glad he convinced me to date him. And move here. But I was pretty easily convinced. I mean look at him! And where we live!! 

*sigh* :) 

Yesterday I worked for over 14 hours. So today I got to hang out in the sun with these cuties and their wonderful mom! Aaand then I went back to work again tonight. But it was fun while it lasted. AND I got burnt. So, there's that, too. 

Okay that's enough picture updates for now, so I will leave you with this: 

A Dreamer.

Are you a dreamer?

I usually would label myself more of a realist. I'm an optimistic realist, but a realist nonetheless.

Being realistic isn't bad. But lately I've been wondering: is being a dreamer sometimes better?

Because what if being realistic is making me settle for less? And maybe God is calling me to more.

Maybe, as Christians, we are called to dream bigger. If we are too realistic, that means we are taking only our own capabilities into consideration without leaving room for God to do what He does best---be God.

Dreaming and goals aren't just for careers and finances. We should also be dreaming toward healed relationships, toward being more grace-filled in exhausting situations, toward understanding Scripture more deeply, toward blessing people beyond our preconceived capabilities.

Maybe it's even setting a goal to stay away from that website, to not text that person, to not even take that first drink, much less the 4th or 5th...maybe it's not yet a "problem", but we know it certainly isn't bringing us closer to God.

What if we dream just a little more outrageously...
What if we aim just a tippy toe higher...
What if we stretch that goal just a little bit further...

What if we plan knowing we will probably fail?

Maybe that's a horrible idea.

But maybe it's a life changing one.

Maybe if we dream just beyond our capabilities...we will experience faith a bit more as it is meant to be experienced.

What if we do our very best and give it our all, but also leave some room for the impossible. What if we leave some space for God to step in. Allowing Him to pull out all the stops and fling open just the right doors. Allowing Him to really BE the God of our life instead of just singing about it.

Maybe it's crazy.

But maybe it's supposed to be.

23 thoughts on the 23rd.

1. It's April 23. That means I'm 11 days from my 3rd Half Marathon.

2. I'm nervous.

3. Each Half I've done has been in a different state.

4. Everyone that works at the gym I work at is ALWAYS eating fast food. Job security?

5. My car got broken into last weekend. This weekend I shattered my iPhone screen. There must be some life analogy for broken glass in there somewhere...

6. Five years ago at this time I had been living in Guatemala for almost 3 months.

7. I have been eating wayyy cleaner than I ever have before. But I exercise the same amount. Last year at this point in my half marathon training I weighed about 20 lbs more than I do now. Eating clean works.

8. Don't worry, cookies are still my friends.

9. I've loved having so many visitors this past month. But it made me sorta feel like I was visiting, too. So, like, I really do live here? That...is awesome.

10. I'm reading a book called "Behind the Beautiful Forevers. Life, Death, and Hope in a Mumbai Undercity." And now I want to go to India and hug every single child living in the slums. Can I?

11. Both of my jobs require lots of small talk with customers. I've recently learned that people in Seattle don't know how to talk about anything besides the weather when it's sunny. True story.

12. It's going to be 70 degrees the next two days here.

13. Ever since high school I've always desperately missed playing sports. Until now. Now I just want my bike.

14. I wish my parents lived closer.

15. I still have SO much to learn from my parents. My dad always has a good perspective on just about everything (and he grills some amazing burgers). My mom is one of the best examples of a Godly woman and she has the sweetest, purest heart. That's pretty hard to find!

16. I need to start setting some life goals. No idea where I'm at or where I'm going some days.

17. I have major baby fever lately. No, no, not for me. I just need to hold someone else's baby. Anyone?

18. Snapchat (@kirstenanna33)

19. Vine (kirstenmelvie@gmail.com)

20. Timehop.

(Three of the best social apps ever, that I was apparently way behind in discovering.)

21. My laptop has finally had enough of this life. RIP MacBook. You were a good little soldier. 2006-2013.

22. Anyone want to buy me a new laptop?

23. Sir Mix-a-Lot works out at the gym I work at. I will refrain from any Big Butt puns. But I cannot lie..

I used to let Shyness be an Excuse.

I was the girl who could easily go a whole school day without saying one word to anyone.

My classmates probably thought I was stuck up. Nope, I was just terrified of...well, everyone.

Fast forward seven years. That shyness is starting to border extinction. I've shed little particles of it in various seasons of my past...Hansel and Gretel style. A little bit got left in my freshman dorm room, probably somewhere near the candy jar that was always filled with Jolly Ranchers and Starbursts. Or maybe next to the fishtank where my roommate and I came back to upside-down, lifeless fish after spring break. (RIP Loretta and Oliver)

I left a little more in the various Minneapolis apartments (5 in all) I lived in after the dorm experience. I'm sure there are lots of shyness shards lying somewhere amongst the numerous calls to set up and cancel Comcast service, (Nothing is worse. NOTHING.) transferring energy bills, learning to cook more than Mac and cheese every night (but mom, what's wrong with that??), and navigating the many different roommate dynamics.

Now lets talk jobs: in my experience they don't take away shyness, but rather they add in the self confidence in the new empty spaces where shyness and timidity used to exist.

Can't forget about boyfriends. Oooh boyfriends. The highs and lows of dating relationships are the best (yet sometimes hardest) ways to learn about yourself.

By the time December 2011 came around, I was ready to move to Denver, by myself, not knowing anyone. And I was actually pretty excited. Take THAT, high school Kirsten.

And a year later I did it again by moving to Washington. Where, yes, I knew people...but barely. And I've loved it.

But guess what? Just because Ive grown out of my shyness, I'm still very much an introvert. Yep, it's possible. And with my current jobs here in WA, I'm talking to and interacting with hundreds of people a DAY.

So what happens when a natural introvert is forced by circumstance to be an extrovert?

Social exhaustion.

I love talking to people. I enjoy teasing all the old men at the hardware store and I even sort of enjoy solving customer service issues with members at the gym.

But here's the difference between introverts and extroverts. Extroverts GET energized by being around people. Introverts eventually get drained by it.

So after work (especially those 12 hour days)...I realized I sometimes have zero energy to talk to the people in my personal life that I deeply care about.

But that's where God meets me. Yes, I'm wired as an introvert, but God is bigger than that. He's stretching me and preparing me for something ahead.

Yes, we should lean into our natural strengths and build on them. But don't use your weaknesses as an excuse to not try something new in front of you. Allow those "out of your comfort zone" situations to mold you into the person He wants you to become!

Believe me, it's kinda fun to look back and see where all of the remnants of doubt and insecurities have fallen. And you'll be amazed at how God steps in and fills those empty spaces with some sweet new boldness for your future encounters.

If you do it right, you'll maybe even be used to change a few lives while you're at it.

Now, go!