Change is Worth it!

Consequences of Change.

Sometimes I think my dream life would be exploring nature and cities all over the world, meeting people, hearing their stories, and writing about it. 

But...I wouldn't really be good at any of that. I love adventures and I love the outdoors, but not all the time. 

I love meeting people and hearing everyone's unique story, but I'm sort of an awkward conversationalist. 

I would LOVE to travel all over the world, but I also want to chill out from my crazy relocation/apartment hopping life and have my own family and house and dog and fireplace someday. 

I love writing. But I also have a rare form of ADD where I don't really have ADD...I just get bored. 

Maybe I already am living my dream life. I love everything about my past so far. Of course I've messed up. Of course I've gotten off course a few times. Of course I've hurt people and gotten hurt myself. 

But I'm here. I'm happy. I'm healthy. I have a job I believe in. I'm alive. I'm educated. I have people who love me and I have people that I love. 

I think it's important for all of us to dream big and to strive and to plan. But right now in my life, I think it's important for me to be content. 

Too many big life changes and relocations in such a small time have left a tiny scar in my spirit. Getting pulled away from family, friends and the familiar...twice in just over a year...have hardened my heart a bit. I can tell I'm a little closed off. I get defensive. I am critical and cynical for no reason. I make plans and cancel them last minute (one of my biggest pet peeves). I crave affirmations more than normal. I get mad at myself with how selfish I am. 

I sometimes feel like my self awareness and social maturity have taken a few steps backwards. 

However, I think that's probably all normal. I wouldn't be human if I wasn't somehow affected by big changes. 

I'm actually proud of how I've handled it all for the most part. Sometimes I literally feel crazy. But usually that's cured by a good night's sleep. 

I just need to let my heart settle a bit. I need to let myself have those occasional freak out moments (IM GOING TO MISS OUT ON SO MUCH WHEN MY MN FRIENDS START HAVING BABIES!). 

I need to let God do what He does best. Love me. Heal me. Continue to grow me. Teach me how to love others. Teach me how to give selflessly. 

I'm guessing by the time I feel caught up and content, there will be another big life change. But I think I'll be ready. Like I said, I get bored fast :)

Ps. Reminder in pictures why it's all been worth it!! 

http://kirsten-faithlovehappiness.blogspot.com/2013/10/my-year-in-pictures.html?m=1

Quiet in the City.

I grew up walking trails in the woods of northern Minnesota with my dad, grandpa, and our two yellow labs. All four of them taught me to love, enjoy, and treasure the beauty of being out in nature. 

I think that's why living in/near a big city is so hard for me sometimes. It just doesn't feel...well, natural. I love it for the convenience and social aspects, but it wears on me after awhile. That's why I love hiking. That's why I love mini road trips just to get out of the city. 

That's why today I got so excited when I discovered, one mile away from our condo....is this: 

It's some sort of wildlife refuge. So it's not totally untouched, as there are trails, fences, bridges and those outlook posts, but it's quiet and I can run to it, so I'll take it!

I totally killed my pace time taking all these pictures on my phone, but I'm pretty sure I've never had a better run. 4.5 miles of trees, a lake, no people, no billboards, and no freeway noise. 

My soul is happy :) 

For the Love of...

Fall. 

The time of year when all you hear everyone say is how much they LOVE Fall. 

Yes, we know you love to wear your sweaters and leggings and boots. To watch football. To see the trees changing. To carve the pumpkins. To eat or drink EVERYthing that is pumpkin flavored...especially those Pumpkin Spice Lattes from Starbucks. 

Sometimes I think everyone loves Fall mostly because they love to love Fall and even more so, they love to TELL everyone how much they love to love Fall. 

Whew. 

Okay, so I'll admit.  The main reason I get annoyed when every. single. person (well, mostly the females) on my social media feeds are proclaiming their undying love for Fall....is that...well....

 I LOVE FALL.

I'm a September baby. I was born in the Fall. Doesn't that give me some sort of "dibs" on loving it more than others? 

Apparently not. 

So I guess I'll let everyone love Fall as much as I do. Because that's what Jesus would do, right? 

All I know is that Jesus MUST feel the same way around Christmas time. When all of the--"OMG!! Christmas music is playing in my office:at the grocery store:at my dentist:on the radio:in the airport!!!!!!! I'M SO EXCITED!!!!"--people start to take over instead. I mean, Jesus for sure has dibs on loving Christmas the most, right? But He just lets us enjoy it with Him and he doesn't get mad or jealous...and I can almost guarantee you He doesn't post a blog ranting about it. 

But that's when I realize how far I need to come to be more like Jesus. 

I could use some prayers. 

Ps. Someone bring me a Pumpkin Spice Latte and I'll love you forever.