Sometimes.

Sometimes I go on Pinterest. 

And I'm jealous of those clothes. 

I'm jealous of that house. 

I'm jealous of her hair. 

I'm jealous of those people who choose to make time to cook all that food and make all those crafts. 

Sometimes I go for a run. 

And I hate every second of it. 

I hate that road. 

I realllly hate that hill. 

I hate feeling like I'm about to pass out. 

Sometimes I miss Minnesota. 

I get worried about all the upcoming rainy days here in Seattle. 

I know I'll miss the snow...a little bit. 

I miss my grandparents. 

I miss my friends. 

Sometimes I worry about the future. 

Sometimes I wear the same jeans 5 days in a row at work. 

Sometimes I get so happy and hyper for no reason. 

Sometimes I buy mint Oreos. And eat them all in 2 days. 

Sometimes I wish I could live out in the middle of nowhere, no technology, no electricity, no running water. 

Sometimes I just want to be bored. 

Sometimes I honestly think I'm crazy.

Sometimes I want to go back to school. Like really, really bad.

Sometimes I want a dog. 

Sometimes I question EVERYthing. 

And you know what?

I think sometimes that's all okay. 

Learning to Listen.

This weekend I will be moving for the 11th time in 7 years. 

I'm ridiculous. 

But, really, it's preventing me from ever becoming a hoarder, so that's a plus. 

While counting up the moves, I realized that number is high because I've been blessed to stay at places for free. Nicole and I got to "house-sit" for 4 months, I lived with my parents for a month before moving to Denver (yes this counts, I had to physically move all of my stuff AND change my mailing address) and most recently I was able to stay with Karen for 7 months before I had a stable job here in Washington. 

Each of these blessings came at crucial times in my transitions to new states where it would have been financially impossible for me to move without them. 

I don't think that was just luck. 

The Lord has quite literally opened the doors for me to continually affirm that I'm on the right path. However, I've also done a lot of waiting in the hallways. I've even forced open and peeked into the wrong doors at times. 

But I've been learning lately how to recognize and discern when the Holy Spirit is urging me to "go" (or do, or say, or act)  and when he's urging me to actively choose to NOT. 

I believe it's different for everyone, as we all have different and unique experiences, faith levels, and personal relationships with Jesus. 

Because of this, we can't wait for a Sunday sermon or a famous Christian author to tell us how exactly to know what the Holy Spirit is telling us to do when it comes to specific situations. Like which college to choose. Which house to buy. Which job to take. To go to the party or not. 

But if you ask Him to teach you how to listen to Him, He will show you. 

Here's what I've learned so far (but remember, it might be different for everyone!):

1) Pray first. 

2) Compare it with the foundational morals in the Bible. (Ex: adultery is always a NO) 

2) Ask the opinions of Christians you trust.

3) Pray again. 

4) Visualize each scenario prayerfully and ask for peace about the right one. 

Every time I've done this for big life decisions, I've eventually either had a "bad gut" feeling or total peace about what I should do. 

It's so hard sometimes. Because I often want to go when He says no. And He says go and I say noo way. 

But He is so gracious. And so good. And I usually learn later why I should have listened to Him the first time. Then I am more trusting to follow His leading the next time. And His way is always more fulfilling, filled with way more adventures (the good kind), and way less shame, guilt, and regrets. 

So I challenge you to pay attention to how the Holy Spirit speaks to you! He may use different means (dreams, situations, the Bible) to speak to you, but you should start to recognize what is from Him. 

I've got a lotttt to learn. I sometimes feel like I'm just getting started. 

And I've never been so excited.