A Dreamer.

Are you a dreamer?

I usually would label myself more of a realist. I'm an optimistic realist, but a realist nonetheless.

Being realistic isn't bad. But lately I've been wondering: is being a dreamer sometimes better?

Because what if being realistic is making me settle for less? And maybe God is calling me to more.

Maybe, as Christians, we are called to dream bigger. If we are too realistic, that means we are taking only our own capabilities into consideration without leaving room for God to do what He does best---be God.

Dreaming and goals aren't just for careers and finances. We should also be dreaming toward healed relationships, toward being more grace-filled in exhausting situations, toward understanding Scripture more deeply, toward blessing people beyond our preconceived capabilities.

Maybe it's even setting a goal to stay away from that website, to not text that person, to not even take that first drink, much less the 4th or 5th...maybe it's not yet a "problem", but we know it certainly isn't bringing us closer to God.

What if we dream just a little more outrageously...
What if we aim just a tippy toe higher...
What if we stretch that goal just a little bit further...

What if we plan knowing we will probably fail?

Maybe that's a horrible idea.

But maybe it's a life changing one.

Maybe if we dream just beyond our capabilities...we will experience faith a bit more as it is meant to be experienced.

What if we do our very best and give it our all, but also leave some room for the impossible. What if we leave some space for God to step in. Allowing Him to pull out all the stops and fling open just the right doors. Allowing Him to really BE the God of our life instead of just singing about it.

Maybe it's crazy.

But maybe it's supposed to be.

23 thoughts on the 23rd.

1. It's April 23. That means I'm 11 days from my 3rd Half Marathon.

2. I'm nervous.

3. Each Half I've done has been in a different state.

4. Everyone that works at the gym I work at is ALWAYS eating fast food. Job security?

5. My car got broken into last weekend. This weekend I shattered my iPhone screen. There must be some life analogy for broken glass in there somewhere...

6. Five years ago at this time I had been living in Guatemala for almost 3 months.

7. I have been eating wayyy cleaner than I ever have before. But I exercise the same amount. Last year at this point in my half marathon training I weighed about 20 lbs more than I do now. Eating clean works.

8. Don't worry, cookies are still my friends.

9. I've loved having so many visitors this past month. But it made me sorta feel like I was visiting, too. So, like, I really do live here? That...is awesome.

10. I'm reading a book called "Behind the Beautiful Forevers. Life, Death, and Hope in a Mumbai Undercity." And now I want to go to India and hug every single child living in the slums. Can I?

11. Both of my jobs require lots of small talk with customers. I've recently learned that people in Seattle don't know how to talk about anything besides the weather when it's sunny. True story.

12. It's going to be 70 degrees the next two days here.

13. Ever since high school I've always desperately missed playing sports. Until now. Now I just want my bike.

14. I wish my parents lived closer.

15. I still have SO much to learn from my parents. My dad always has a good perspective on just about everything (and he grills some amazing burgers). My mom is one of the best examples of a Godly woman and she has the sweetest, purest heart. That's pretty hard to find!

16. I need to start setting some life goals. No idea where I'm at or where I'm going some days.

17. I have major baby fever lately. No, no, not for me. I just need to hold someone else's baby. Anyone?

18. Snapchat (@kirstenanna33)

19. Vine (kirstenmelvie@gmail.com)

20. Timehop.

(Three of the best social apps ever, that I was apparently way behind in discovering.)

21. My laptop has finally had enough of this life. RIP MacBook. You were a good little soldier. 2006-2013.

22. Anyone want to buy me a new laptop?

23. Sir Mix-a-Lot works out at the gym I work at. I will refrain from any Big Butt puns. But I cannot lie..

I used to let Shyness be an Excuse.

I was the girl who could easily go a whole school day without saying one word to anyone.

My classmates probably thought I was stuck up. Nope, I was just terrified of...well, everyone.

Fast forward seven years. That shyness is starting to border extinction. I've shed little particles of it in various seasons of my past...Hansel and Gretel style. A little bit got left in my freshman dorm room, probably somewhere near the candy jar that was always filled with Jolly Ranchers and Starbursts. Or maybe next to the fishtank where my roommate and I came back to upside-down, lifeless fish after spring break. (RIP Loretta and Oliver)

I left a little more in the various Minneapolis apartments (5 in all) I lived in after the dorm experience. I'm sure there are lots of shyness shards lying somewhere amongst the numerous calls to set up and cancel Comcast service, (Nothing is worse. NOTHING.) transferring energy bills, learning to cook more than Mac and cheese every night (but mom, what's wrong with that??), and navigating the many different roommate dynamics.

Now lets talk jobs: in my experience they don't take away shyness, but rather they add in the self confidence in the new empty spaces where shyness and timidity used to exist.

Can't forget about boyfriends. Oooh boyfriends. The highs and lows of dating relationships are the best (yet sometimes hardest) ways to learn about yourself.

By the time December 2011 came around, I was ready to move to Denver, by myself, not knowing anyone. And I was actually pretty excited. Take THAT, high school Kirsten.

And a year later I did it again by moving to Washington. Where, yes, I knew people...but barely. And I've loved it.

But guess what? Just because Ive grown out of my shyness, I'm still very much an introvert. Yep, it's possible. And with my current jobs here in WA, I'm talking to and interacting with hundreds of people a DAY.

So what happens when a natural introvert is forced by circumstance to be an extrovert?

Social exhaustion.

I love talking to people. I enjoy teasing all the old men at the hardware store and I even sort of enjoy solving customer service issues with members at the gym.

But here's the difference between introverts and extroverts. Extroverts GET energized by being around people. Introverts eventually get drained by it.

So after work (especially those 12 hour days)...I realized I sometimes have zero energy to talk to the people in my personal life that I deeply care about.

But that's where God meets me. Yes, I'm wired as an introvert, but God is bigger than that. He's stretching me and preparing me for something ahead.

Yes, we should lean into our natural strengths and build on them. But don't use your weaknesses as an excuse to not try something new in front of you. Allow those "out of your comfort zone" situations to mold you into the person He wants you to become!

Believe me, it's kinda fun to look back and see where all of the remnants of doubt and insecurities have fallen. And you'll be amazed at how God steps in and fills those empty spaces with some sweet new boldness for your future encounters.

If you do it right, you'll maybe even be used to change a few lives while you're at it.

Now, go!