Monday, April 8, 2013

I used to let Shyness be an Excuse.

I was the girl who could easily go a whole school day without saying one word to anyone.

My classmates probably thought I was stuck up. Nope, I was just terrified of...well, everyone.

Fast forward seven years. That shyness is starting to border extinction. I've shed little particles of it in various seasons of my past...Hansel and Gretel style. A little bit got left in my freshman dorm room, probably somewhere near the candy jar that was always filled with Jolly Ranchers and Starbursts. Or maybe next to the fishtank where my roommate and I came back to upside-down, lifeless fish after spring break. (RIP Loretta and Oliver)

I left a little more in the various Minneapolis apartments (5 in all) I lived in after the dorm experience. I'm sure there are lots of shyness shards lying somewhere amongst the numerous calls to set up and cancel Comcast service, (Nothing is worse. NOTHING.) transferring energy bills, learning to cook more than Mac and cheese every night (but mom, what's wrong with that??), and navigating the many different roommate dynamics.

Now lets talk jobs: in my experience they don't take away shyness, but rather they add in the self confidence in the new empty spaces where shyness and timidity used to exist.

Can't forget about boyfriends. Oooh boyfriends. The highs and lows of dating relationships are the best (yet sometimes hardest) ways to learn about yourself.

By the time December 2011 came around, I was ready to move to Denver, by myself, not knowing anyone. And I was actually pretty excited. Take THAT, high school Kirsten.

And a year later I did it again by moving to Washington. Where, yes, I knew people...but barely. And I've loved it.

But guess what? Just because Ive grown out of my shyness, I'm still very much an introvert. Yep, it's possible. And with my current jobs here in WA, I'm talking to and interacting with hundreds of people a DAY.

So what happens when a natural introvert is forced by circumstance to be an extrovert?

Social exhaustion.

I love talking to people. I enjoy teasing all the old men at the hardware store and I even sort of enjoy solving customer service issues with members at the gym.

But here's the difference between introverts and extroverts. Extroverts GET energized by being around people. Introverts eventually get drained by it.

So after work (especially those 12 hour days)...I realized I sometimes have zero energy to talk to the people in my personal life that I deeply care about.

But that's where God meets me. Yes, I'm wired as an introvert, but God is bigger than that. He's stretching me and preparing me for something ahead.

Yes, we should lean into our natural strengths and build on them. But don't use your weaknesses as an excuse to not try something new in front of you. Allow those "out of your comfort zone" situations to mold you into the person He wants you to become!

Believe me, it's kinda fun to look back and see where all of the remnants of doubt and insecurities have fallen. And you'll be amazed at how God steps in and fills those empty spaces with some sweet new boldness for your future encounters.

If you do it right, you'll maybe even be used to change a few lives while you're at it.

Now, go!

1 comment:

  1. Your blog warmed me up during this 20" snowfall today! From your Dad

    ReplyDelete